Ralph Waldo Emerson

A friend may well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature.

Laurence J. Peter

Lead, follow, or get out of the way.

Guy Finley

The real quality of our life is not determined by what we have won from it, but by what we have discovered within it.

Plutarch

The mind is not a vessel to be filled but a fire to be kindled.

Victor Cousins

In everything the ends well defined are the secret of durable success.

Francis Bacon

A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds.

Lee Iacocca

The ability to concentrate and to use your time well is everything if you want to succeed in business--or almost anywhere else for that matter.

Henry Ward Beecher

The ability to convert ideas to things is the secret to outward success.

Lucretius

Constant dripping hollows out a stone.

Mary Shelley

Nothing contributes so much to tranquilize the mind as a steady purpose-- a point on which the soul may fix its intellectual eye.

Matthew Prior

For hope is but the dream of those that wake.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.

Winston Churchill

We are still masters of our fate. We are still captains of our souls.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do.

Albert Einstein

Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.

Proverb

He who hesitates is lost.

Guy Finley

The limit of your present understanding is not the limit of your possibilities.

Booker T. Washington

If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else.

Albert Schweitzer

A man does not have to be an angel in order to be saint.

Stendhal

One can acquire everything in solitude except character.

Marcel Proust

Love is space and time measured by the heart.

George S. Patton

Take calculated risks. That is quite different from being rash.

Arthur C. Clarke

The only way of finding the limits of the possible is by going beyond them into the impossible.

Henry Ward Beecher

Men's best successes come after their disappointments.

St. Clement of Alexandra

If you do not hope, you will not find what is beyond your hopes.

Thornton Wilder

Seek the lofty by reading, hearing and seeing great work at some moment every day.

Voltaire

Work spares us from three evils: boredom, vice, and need.

Aristotle

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit.

Johann Gottfried

Without inspiration the best powers of the mind remain dormant. There is a fuel in us which needs to be ignited with sparks.

RJS

You cannot plough a field by turning it over in your mind.

William B. Sprague

Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

It was a high counsel that I once heard given to a young person, "Always do what you are afraid to do."

Charles R. Swindoll

We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations.

John Wooden

Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do…

Abraham Maslow

When all you own is a hammer, every problem starts looking like a nail.

Paul Tillich

The first duty of love is to listen.

Napoleon Hill

A goal is a dream with a deadline.

Martin Luther King, Jr

The ultimate measure of a person is not where they stand in moments of comfort and convenience, but where the stand in times of challenge and controversy.

Apocalypto

No civilization can be killed unless it is dead from within.

Blaise Pascal

Love has reasons which reason cannot understand.

Thomas Aquinas

There is nothing on this earth more to be prized than true friendship.

Napoleon Hill

The world has the habit of making room for the man whose words and actions show that he knows where he is going.

Orison Swett Marden

All men who have achieved great things have been great dreamers.

Walt Whitman

Re-examine all that you have been told... dismiss that which insults your soul.

Franz Kafka

Youth is happy because it has the ability to see beauty. Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old.

Charles Schulz

Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed.. downward !!

Jonathan Swift

No wise man ever wished to be younger.

Lucille Ball

The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.

William Shakespeare

With mirth and laughter let old wrinkles come.

Oprah Winfrey

The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.

Euripides

If we could be twice young and twice old we could correct all our mistakes.

Muhammad Ali

Age is whatever you think it is. You are as old as you think you are.

Muhammad Ali

Age is whatever you think it is. You are as old as you think you are.

William Arthur Ward

Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings.

Ernest Hemingway

Courage is grace under pressure

John Fitzgerald Kennedy

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.

Oliver Wendell Holmes

The young man knows the rules, but the old man knows the exceptions.

Martin Luther King, Jr.

Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into friend.

William Faulkner

Gratitude is a quality similar to electricity;  it must be produced and discharged and used up in order to exist at all.

Thomas Carlyle

Men do less than they ought, unless they do all they can.

Benjamin Disraeli

Experience is the child of thought, and thought is the child of action.

Albert Einstein

Try not to become a man of success but a man of value.

W.T. Purkiser

Not what we say about our blessing, but how we use them is the true measure of our thanksgiving.

Francis Bacon

A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds.

Epictetus

He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has.

Plato

There are three classes of men; lovers of wisdom, lovers of honor, and lovers of gain.

Thomas Jefferson

In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock.

Winston Churchill

Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.

Orison Swett Marden

Most of our obstacles would melt away if, instead of cowering before them, we should make up our minds to walk boldly through them.

Jim Rohn

Happiness is not an accident, nor is it something you wish for.  Happiness is something you design.

William Arthur Ward

Do more than belong: participate. Do more than care: help. Do more than believe: practice. Do more than be fair: be kind. Do more than forgive: forget. Do more than dream: work

Nelson Mandela

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate but is that we are powerful beyond measure.

Frank Tyger

Be a good listener. Your ears will never get you in trouble as might your tongue.

Henry Ford

There isn't a person anywhere who isn't capable of doing more than he thinks he can.

Audrey Hepburn

As you grow older you will discover that you have two hands. One for helping yourself, the other for helping others.

Richard L. Evans

Children will not remember you for the material things you provided but for the feeling that you cherished them.

Herm Albright

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.

Adam Lawrence

Always treat a famous person as if they're not, and a person who's not as if they were.

Walt Emerson

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.

RJS

Be true to your work, your word, and your friend. This are from you and will come back on you.

RJS

Formal education will make you a living; self-education will make you a fortune.

Einstien

Intellectual growth should commence at birth and cease only at death.

Oliver Wendell Holmes

I am on the side of the unregenerate who affirm the worth of life as an end in itself, as against the saints who deny it.

Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Without some goal and some effort to reach it, no one can live.

Sydney J. Harris

When I hear somebody sigh, "Life is hard," I am always tempted to ask, "Compared to what?"

Judy Collins

Experience is how life catches up with us and teaches us to love and forgive each other.

Mark Twain

Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.

RJS

Don't get discouraged; it is often the last key in the bunch that opens the lock.

RJS

Laughing at your mistakes can lengthen your life. Laughing at someone else's can shorten it.

RJS

I love my past. I love my present. I’m not ashamed of what I’ve had, and I’m not sad because I have it no longer.

RJS

God, if I can’t have what I want, let me want what I have.

RJS

You only live once, but if you work it right, once is enough.

Robertson Davies

Extraordinary people survive under the most terrible circumstances and they become more extraordinary because of it.

Henry David Thoreau

Be true to your work, your word, and your friend.

George Will

Voters don't decide issues, they decide who will decide issues.

RJS

When you ASSUME = you make an ASS out of U and ME...so always Ask and never Assume.

Bob Proctor

You are the only problem you will ever have and you are the only solution to it.

Funny

Retirement.. When you stop lying about your age and start lying around the house.

William Hazlitt

The art of life is to know how to enjoy a little and to endure very much.

RJS

You are free... when you are in control of yourself and do not wish to control others.

RJS

You are growing... when you know what you are but not what you will become.

RJS

You are alive... when tomorrow's hope means more to you than yesterday's mistake.

RJS

You are true... when you admit there are times you fool yourself.

RJS

You are wise... when you know the limits of your wisdom.

RJS

You are loving... when your own pain does not blind you to the pain of others.

RJS

You are happy... when you see a flower and are thankful for the blessing.

RJS

You are brave... when you overcome your fear and help others to do the same.

RJS

You are strong... when you take your grief and teach it to smile.

God

IF AN EGG IS BROKEN BY AN OUTSIDE FORCE..A LIFE ENDS. IF AN EGG BREAKS FROM WITHIN...... .LIFE BEGINS.

Napoleon Hill

A man cannot directly choose his circumstances, but he can choose his thoughts, and so indirectly, yet surely, shape his circumstances.

Arthur Schopenhauer

Change alone is eternal, perpetual, immortal.

RJS

Mistakes happen by situation not by intentions, so value the relations.

Kenji Miyazawa

We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey.

Josh Billings

Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there.

Thomas Huxley

All truth, in the long run, is only common sense clarified.

Swami Vivekananda

Anything that exceeds its limit is POISON.

Jim Rohn

Success is doing ordinary things extraordinarily well.

Woodrow Wilson

The ear of the leader must ring with the voices of the people.

Walt Disney

All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.

RJS

The hatred which comes out from u will someday comeback 2 u. Love others. And Love will comeback 2 U.

RJS

Whatever you give to life, it gives you back. Do not hate anybody.

RJS

Time can turn at any time. Don't neglect anyone in your life.

Sea

Life is just like a sea, we r moving w/o an end. Nothing stays wid us, what remains is just the memories of sum people who touched us as Waves..

Unknown

Life is as we think, so think beautifully.

RJS

A gud way 2 chnge someone's attitude is 2 chnge ur own. Bcoz, the same sun that melts butter, also hardens clay !

RJS

Never make the same mistake twice, There are so many new ones, Try a different one each day.

Margaret Thatcher

Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't.

Herman Melville

We cannot live only for ourselves. A thousand invisible fibers connect us with our fellow men.

RJS

Never tell your problems to anyone...20% don't care..and the other 80% are glad you have them.

Vince Lombardi

Winning is not everything, but wanting to win is.

a Thinker

Talent hits a target no one else can hit; Genius hits a target no one else can see.

RJs

There are people who, instead of listening to what is being said to them, are already listening to what they are going to say themselves.

Unknown

A person is a success if they get up in the morning and gets to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do.

RJS

Friends are God's way of apologizing for your relatives.

Bernard Baruch

Millions saw the apple fall, but Newton was the one who asked why.

Alfred Lord

Knowledge comes, but wisdom lingers.

Douglas MacArthur

You are remembered for the rules you break.

Bo Jackson

Set your goals high, and don't stop till you get there.

Franklin P. Jones

One thing you will probably remember well is any time you forgive and forget.

Shakespeare

Laughing Faces Do Not Mean That There Is Absence Of Sorrow! But It Means That They Have The Ability To Deal With It

Shakespeare

In The Times Of Crisis I Was Not Hurt By The Harsh Words Of  My Enemies, But By The Silence Of My Friends

William Arthur

Opportunities Are Like Sunrises, If You Wait Too Long You Can……… Miss Them

Shiv Khera

If We Are Not Part Of The Solutions, We Are The Big Problems.

Shakespeare

Coin Always Makes Sound But The Currency Notes Are Always Silent. So When Your Value Increases Keep Yourself Calm Silent

Shiv Khera

If We Are Not Part Of The Solutions, We Are The Big Problems.

 

Abraham Lincoln

If friendship is your weakest point then you are the strongest person in the world.

Einstein

I am thankful to all those who said NO to me It’s Because of them I did it myself.

Napoleon

World suffers a lot. Not because of the violence of bad people, but because of the silence of good people.

Kevin Abdulrah

No work leads to poverty. Hard work leads to painful existence. Smart work leads to profits.

George Orwell

On the whole human beings want to be good, but not too good, and not quite all the time.

RJS

The one,who learns nothing from the Past, will be punished by the Future.

[tqp-qotd] Quotes of the Day for October 7, 2010

***
Quotes of the Day for October 7, 2010
http://www.quotationspage.com/qotd.html
----------------------------------
An atheist is a man who has no invisible means of support.
-- John Buchan

Television is more interesting than people. If it were not, we would have people standing in the corners of our rooms.
-- Alan Corenk

There's no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn't tell you about it?
-- Kin Hubbard

Political advertising ought to be stopped. It's the only really dishonest kind of advertising that's left.
-- David M. Ogilvy

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RJS

The difference between an itch and an allergy is about two hundred dollars.

[tqp-qotd] Quotes of the Day for October 6, 2010

***
Quotes of the Day for October 6, 2010
http://www.quotationspage.com/qotd.html
----------------------------------
I have too much respect for the idea of God to make it responsible for such an absurd world.
-- Georges Duhamel

A committee is a cul-de-sac down which ideas are lured and then quietly strangled.
-- Sir Barnett Cocks

Man is the only animal that laughs and weeps, for he is the only animal that is struck with the difference between what things are and what they ought to be.
-- William Hazlitt

The secret of life is to appreciate the pleasure of being terribly, terribly deceived.
-- Oscar Wilde, A Woman of No Importance, Act 3

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Funny Quote

George Washington is the only president who didn't blame the previous administration for his troubles.

Emerson M. Pugh

If the human brain were so simple that we could understand it, we would be so simple that we couldn't.

[tqp-qotd] Quotes of the Day for October 5, 2010

***
Quotes of the Day for October 5, 2010
http://www.quotationspage.com/qotd.html
----------------------------------
In democracy it's your vote that counts; In feudalism it's your count that votes.
-- Mogens Jallberg

Don't accept rides from strange men, and remember that all men are strange.
-- Robin Morgan

It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.
-- Mark Twain

Equations are the devil's sentences.
-- Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report

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Adrienne E. Gusoff

Any woman who thinks the way to a man's heart is through his stomach is aiming about 10 inches too high.

John Gaule

A complex system that works is invariably found to have evolved from a simple system that works.

Granville Hicks

A censor is a man who knows more than he thinks you ought to.

Franklin P. Adams

Elections are won by men and women chiefly because most people vote against somebody rather than for somebody.

Jimmy Buffett

If we couldn't laugh, we would all go insane.

Roald Dahl

We have so much time and so little to do. Strike that, reverse it.

Albert Schweitzer

Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.

Joan Rivers

A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp.

Thornton Wilder

Life is an unbroken succession of false situations.

National Lampoon

Let not the sands of time get in your lunch.

Mark Twain

Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.

John Lithgow

Time sneaks up on you like a windshield on a bug.

Peter da Silva

Ahhh. A man with a sharp wit. Someone ought to take it away from him before he cuts himself.

George Bernard Shaw

Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.

Richard M. Nixon

Sure there are dishonest men in local government. But there are dishonest men in national government too.

Mary Wilson Little

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.

Mitch Hedberg

I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.

George F. Will

The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised.

H. P. Lovecraft

The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents.

Jimmy Breslin

Rage is the only quality which has kept me, or anybody I have ever studied, writing columns for newspapers.

Fred Allen

What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement?

P. G. Wodehouse

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.

Robert Zend

There are too many people, and too few human beings.

Benjamin Franklin

At the working man's house hunger looks in but dares not enter.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Beware when the great God lets loose a thinker on this planet.

George Carlin

If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say that the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.

William James

The greatest use of life is to spend it for something that will outlast it.

Bernard Bailey

When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it.

Francois de La Rochefoucauld

A true friend is the greatest of all blessings, and that which we take the least care of all to acquire.

Victor Borge

I only know two pieces; one is 'Clair de Lune' and the other one isn't.

Harry S Truman

I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it.

Henry David Thoreau

Some circumstantial evidence is very strong, as when you find a trout in the milk.

Dorothy Nevill

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right place but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

Darrin Weinberg

It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.

Vince Lombardi

If you aren't fired with enthusiasm, you will be fired with enthusiasm.

Robert Bakker

I want to find a voracious, small-minded predator and name it after the IRS.

Segal's Law

A man with a watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure.

Eric Sevareid

Dealing with network executives is like being nibbled to death by ducks.

Samuel Johnson

Read over your compositions, and wherever you meet with a passage which you think is particularly fine, strike it out.

J. Bartlett Brebner

Americans are benevolently ignorant about Canada, while Canadians are malevolently well informed about the United States.

Bill Watterson

Reality continues to ruin my life.

Frank Zappa

In the fight between you and the world, back the world.

Ronald Reagan

The best minds are not in government. If any were, business would hire them away.

Joe Martin

If it weren't for my lawyer, I'd still be in prison. It went a lot faster with two people digging.

Sir Frederick G. Banting

No one has ever had an idea in a dress suit.

Ellen DeGeneres

I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I taught her that.

Laurence J. Peter

There is no stigma attached to recognizing a bad decision in time to install a better one.

Pierre Beaumarchais

If a thing isn't worth saying, you sing it.

Douglas Adams

He attacked everything in life with a mix of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which.

Clever...

Fools rush in where fools have been before.

Joan Rivers

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.

Dennis Miller

We need anything politically important rationed out like Pez: small, sweet, and coming out of a funny, plastic head.

Amos Bronson Alcott

Devotees of grammatical studies have not been distinguished for any very remarkable felicities of expression.

Herbert Rappaport

I hope that while so many people are out smelling the flowers, someone is taking the time to plant some.

G. M. Trevelyan

Education... has produced a vast population able to read but unable to distinguish what is worth reading.

Stanislaw J. Lec

Advice to writers: Sometimes you just have to stop writing. Even before you begin.

Immanuel Kant

Science is organized knowledge. Wisdom is organized life.

George F. Will

The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised.

Peter McArthur

Every successful enterprise requires three men - a dreamer, a businessman, and a son of a bitch.

Noelie Altito

The shortest distance between two points is under construction.

Mark B. Cohen

Nothing can so alienate a voter from the political system as backing a winning candidate.

De La Lastra's Law

After the last of 16 mounting screws has been removed from an access cover, it will be discovered that the wrong access cover has been removed.

Elbert Hubbard

If men could only know each other, they would neither idolize nor hate.

Miss Piggy

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.

Mark Twain

A human being has a natural desire to have more of a good thing than he needs.

Wernher von Braun

I have learned to use the word 'impossible' with the greatest caution.

Woodrow Wilson

A conservative is a man who sits and thinks, mostly sits.

Peter Beckmann

Where there is no patrol car, there is no speed limit. ~~~

Sir William Osler

One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine.

Oscar Wilde

The good ended happily, and the bad unhappily. That is what Fiction means.

Ambrose Bierce

Politics: The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.

Sir Winston Churchill

He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

James Carr

I don't have an English accent because this is what English sounds like when spoken properly.

Mario Andretti

If everything seems under control, you're not going fast enough

Raj J Salecha

Giving love is the greatest pleasure of life.

Dean Acheson

Perhaps the best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.

Bertrand Russell

People wish to be liked, not be endured with patient resignation.

Toshihiro Kawabata

Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day. Give a fish a man, and he'll eat for weeks!

Clarence Darrow

Even if you do learn to speak correct English, whom are you going to speak it to?

Franklin P. Jones

One thing you will probably remember well is any time you forgive and forget.

Laurence J. Peter

Everyone rises to their level of incompetence.

Benjamin Disraeli

There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.

Bertrand Russell

A sense of duty is useful in work, but offensive in personal relations.

Jane Wagner

Delusions of grandeur make me feel a lot better about myself.

Robert Anthony

Most people would rather be certain they're miserable than risk being happy.

George Carlin

Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.

Rita Rudner

I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.

L. M. Boyd

There are 350 varieties of shark, not counting loan and pool.

Charles Baudelaire

It is by universal misunderstanding that all agree. For if, by ill luck, people understood each other, they would never agree.

Walter Winchell

Hollywood is a place where they place you under contract instead of under observation.

Doug Larson

Few things are more satisfying than seeing your own children have teenagers of their own.

Matt Groening

Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.

George Bernard Shaw

Reading made Don Quixote a gentleman. Believing what he read made him mad.

Ellen DeGeneres

I don't understand the sizes anymore. There's a size zero, which I didn't even know that they had. It must stand for: 'Ohhh my God, you're thin.'

Peter Beckmann

Where there is no patrol car, there is no speed limit.

Oscar Wilde

The good ended happily, and the bad unhappily. That is what Fiction means.

Bradley's Bromide

If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.

Gian Vincenzo Gravina

A bore is a man who deprives you of solitude without providing you with company.

Mark Twain

I was gratified to be able to answer promptly. I said I don't know.

Penn Jillette

Channeling is just bad ventriloquism. You use another voice, but people can see your lips moving.

Doris Egan

Rational arguments don't usually work on religious people. Otherwise, there wouldn't be religious people.

Friedrich Nietzsche

Insanity in individuals is something rare - but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule.

Frederick Locker

The world's as ugly as sin, and almost as delightful

Bertrand Russell

Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric.

Michael Pritchard

You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing.

Tom Hanks

I'm glad I didn't have to fight in any war or pick up a gun or get killed or kill somebody. I hope my kids enjoy the same lack of manhood.

Aesop

We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.

Henny Youngman

My Grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.

James Thurber

The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.

Kevin Rose

I don't care what it is, when it has an LCD screen, it makes it better.

Mahatma Gandhi

In matters of conscience, the law of the majority has no place.

Don Juan Manuel

He who praises you for what you lack wishes to take from you what you have.

David Letterman

Sometimes when you look in his eyes you get the feeling that someone else is driving.

Ray Bradbury

We are an impossibility in an impossible universe.

Chester Bowles

Government is too big and too important to be left to the politicians.

Dan Quayle

People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history.

Judith Martin

Let us make a special effort to stop communicating with each other, so we can have some conversation.

George Iles

Whoever ceases to be a student has never been a student.

William S. Burroughs

After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say "I want to see the manager."

Zach Braff

I'm kind of jealous of the life I'm supposedly leading.

Evan Esar

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy and Jill a rich widow.

Aristotle

It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.

Charles McCabe

Any clod can have the facts, but having opinions is an art.

Soren Kierkegaard

Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.

Dale Carnegie

Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain and most fools do.

Russell Baker

Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it.

Rita Rudner

My mother buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping.

Frank Dane

Get all the fools on your side and you can be elected to anything.

Scott Adams

Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge.

Mitch Hedberg

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.

Sir Francis Bacon

If a man will begin with certainties, he shall end in doubts; but if he will be content to begin with doubts he shall end in certainties.

Robert Chapman

A quotation, like a pun, should come unsought, and then be welcomed only for some propriety of felicity justifying the intrusion.

RJS

I'm not worried about the bullet with my name on it... just the thousands out there marked 'Occupant.'

Plato

No human thing is of serious importance.

Martin Mull

The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass.

Samuel Goldwyn

I had a monumental idea this morning, but I didn't like it.

Sir Winston Churchill

I have always felt that a politician is to be judged by the animosities he excites among his opponents.

P. J. O'Rourke

Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs.

Ferdinand Foch

None but a coward dares to boast that he has never known fear.

Lucille S. Harper

The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.

David Hoselton

I'm a jerk to everyone. Best way to protect yourself from lawsuits.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

The end of the human race will be that it will eventually die of civilization.

Mark Twain

It was enough to make a body ashamed of the human race.

Actions lie louder than words. - Carolyn Wells

rjs

Edgar Bergen

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

Franklin P. Jones

The trouble with jogging is that, by the time you realize you're not in shape for it, it's too far to walk back. - rjs

Robert Orben

There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.

Francois de La Rochefoucauld

The glory of great men should always be measured by the means they have used to acquire it. - rjs

Queen Juliana

I can't understand it. I can't even understand the people who can understand it.

George Orwell

Serious sport is war minus the shooting..

Paul Tillich

Cynically speaking, one could say that it is true to life to be cynical about it....

Peter Ustinov

To refuse awards is another way of accepting them with more noise than is normal...

Steven Wright

Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, 'Do I know you?'...

Al Mcguire

Winning is only important in war and surgery..

Harry S Truman

I never did give them hell. I just told the truth, and they thought it was hell....

Will Rogers

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.

George Burns

The secret of success is sincerity. If you can fake that, you've got it made..

Albert Einstein

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results....

Walter Winchell

Success is the reward of anyone who looks for trouble..

Franklin P. Jones

Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger....

Wilson Mizner

Be nice to people on your way up, because you'll meet them on your way down...

Christoph Lichtenberg

What a blessing it would be if we could open and shut our ears as easily as we open and shut our eyes!... rjs

Johnny Cash

Success means having to worry about every damn thing in the world, except money..

Isaac Asimov

Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right....

Murray Koffler

My formula for success is dress british, look irish, think jewish...

George Bernard Shaw

A perpetual holiday is a good working definition of hell....

Oscar Wilde

Work is the curse of the drinking Classes...

Hunter S. Thompson

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro....

Oscar Wilde

Work is the refuge of those who have nothing better to do..

Pierre Beaumarchais

It is not necessary to understand things in order to argue about them....

Leo Rosten

If you want people to think you're wise, just agree with them.

Jane Caminos

A waist is a terrible thing to mind....

Philip Gibbs

It is better to give than to lend, and it costs about the same..

Richard Feynman

There are 10^11 stars in the galaxy. That used to be a huge number. But it's only a hundred billion. It's less than the national deficit! We used to call them astronomical numbers. Now we should call them economical numbers....

Kin Hubbard.

If you want to get rid of somebody, just tell them something for their own good..

Peter Ustinov

Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.....

Erica Jong

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answers but wish we didn't..

Lily Tomlin

Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?...

Adlai Stevenson

Flattery hurts no one- so long as you don't inhale...

William Gibson

The future is here. It's just not widely distributed yet...

La Rochefoucauld

Gratitude is merely a secret hope of further favours...

Charles M. Schulz

Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love...

Kin Hubbard

Some people pay a compliment as if they expected a receipt...

Malcolm Bradbury

The english are polite by telling lies. The americans are polite by telling the truth..

Abraham Lincoln

Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves... RJS

Oscar Wilde

Vulgarity is simply the conduct of other people..

When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite... Winston Churchill

rjs

Every man likes the smell of his own farts.. Icelandic proverb.

rjs

More people will get out of ur way if u say i'm about to puke, then if u say 'Excuse Me'..Sally bager

rjs

Etiquette is knowing how to yawn with your mouth closed...Herbert P

rjs

The nice thing about egoists is that they dont talk about other people..Lucy Harper

rjs

To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance..Oscar Wilde

rjs

An egotist is a person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.. Ambrose Bierce

rjs

Some of the greatest love affairs i have known involved one actor, unassisted...Wilson Mizner

rjs

An inferiority complex would be a blessing if only the right people had it...Alan Reed

rjs

I have my faults, but being wrong isn't one of them... Jimmy Hoffa

rjs

It's innocence when it charms us, ignorance when it doesn't..Mignon McLaughlin

rjs

Gentility is what's left over from rich ancestors after the money is gone... John Ciardi

rjs

People in a temper often say a lot of silly things that they really mean... Penelope Gilliat

rjs

Confidence is simply that quite, assured feeling ou have before you fall flat on ur face.. L Binder

rjs

No man in the world has more courage than the man who can stop after eating 1 peanut... Channing Pollock.

rjs

I have my standards. They may be low, but i have them.. Bette Midler

rjs

Experience is a comb life gives you after you lose your hair... Judith Stern

rjs

The English instinctively admire any man who has no talent and is modest abt it... James agate

rjs

My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me.. Benjamin Disraile

rjs

Men achieve a certain greatness unawares, when working to another aim. ...Ralph Waldo Emerson

rjs

Divorce can be seen as the legal alternative to murder... Jeff Fox

rjs

When ideas fail, words come in very handy. - Johann Wolfgang

rjs

Adultery is the application of democracy to love....H.L.Mencken

rjs

Leave it to a girl to take the fun out of sex discrimination. - Bill Watterson

rjs

My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income. - Errol Flynn

rjs

Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat. - Mark Twain

rjs

If people never did silly things, nothing intelligent would ever get done. - Ludwig Wittgenstein

rjs

Adolescence is the stage between puberty and adultery... Denis Norden

rjs

Any child who is anxious to mow the lawn is too young to do it... Bob Philips

rjs

Toddlers are more likely to eat healthy food if they find it on the floor... Jan B

rjs

You know what i did before i married, anything i wanted to... Henny Youngman

rjs

No matter who you marry, you wake up married to someone else.. Marlon Brando

rjs

Once a woman has given her heart you can never get rid of the rest of her...John V

rjs

When i finally met Mr. Right, i had no idea his first name was 'Always'..Rita Ruder

rjs

If you think women are the weaker sex, try pulling the blankets back to your side...Stuart Turner

rjs

The best way to get husband do anything is to suggest that he is too old to do it... F.Parker

rjs

Womens movement would be more successful, if men were running it...Alan Clark

rjs

The main achievement of the women's movement was the right to go dutch..Gloria Steinem

rjs

The trouble with women is that they never put the toilet seat back up.. Simon Nye

rjs

Marriage is alliance of 2 people, 1 who remembers all date and other 1 who doesnt...Ogden Nash

rjs

Intution is the strange instinct that tells a woman she is right; whether she is or not...Oscar Wilde

rjs

The main purpose of love is to provide a theme for novels....Peir Paul Read

rjs

All the reasons of a man cannot outweigh a single feeling of a woman... Voltaire

If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question...Lily Tomlin

rjs

Women might start a rumour, but not a war.... Marga Gomez

rjs

A man in house is worth 2 in the street... Mae West

rjs

A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain...WCFields

rjs

Love is a temporary insanity curable by marriage...Ambrose Bierce

rjs

If a man speaks in forest with no women around... is he still wrong? Rick Makin

rjs

My wife and I thought we were in love but it turned out to be begining... Woody Alen

rjs

A hard man is good to find...Mae West

rjs

I 'm still going on bad dates when by now i should be in a bad marraige...Laura K

rjs

The difference btw man and battery; that battery has +ve side....

rjs

Every man I meet wants to protect me, i cant figure out from what...Mae West

rjs

People should'nt be treated like objects; they are not that valuable...PJORourke

rjs

It is absurd to divide people in gud or bad; they are either charming or tedious.

rjs

There are 3 kind of people; one those who can count, others who cannot..

rjs

I think i m pretty gud judge of people; which is y i hate most of them....

rjs

An undefined problem has an infinite number of solutions...RJS

rjs

Maturity is only a short break in adolescence. - Jules Feiffer

rjs

If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, why don't we all get wasted and have the time of our lives

rjs

Language is the source of misunderstandings. - Antoine de Saint-Exupery

rjs

A coupla months in the laboratory can save a coupla hours in the library. - Westheimer's Discovery

rjs

The best way to compile inaccurate information that no one wants is to make it up. - Scott Adams

rjs

Insensibly one begins to twist facts to suit theories, instead of theories to suit facts.

rjs

An epigram often flashes light into regions where reason shines but dimly. - Edwin P. Whipple

rjs

A widely- read man never quotes accurately, for the rather obvious reason that he has read too widely.

rjs

Misquotation is, in fact, the pride and privilege of the learned.

rjs

Don't worry about people stealing an idea. If it's original, you will have to ram it down their throats. - Howard Aiken

rjs

Television enables you to be entertained in your home by people you wouldn't have in your home.

rjs

If you are not criticized, you may not be doing much.

rjs

Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

rjs

You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

rjs

The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

rjs

If you aren't living on the edge, then you are taking up too much space.

rjs

For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing. - H. L. Mencken

rjs

The average Ph.D. thesis is nothing but a transference of bones from one graveyard to another. - J. Frank Dobie

rjs

I'm just a person trapped inside a woman's body. - Elayne Boosler

rjs

I am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions. - Augusten Burroughs

rjs

Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish. - Albert Einstein

rjs

A husband is like a fire, he goes out when unattended. - Evan Esar

rjs

Love can be sordid only if you work at it. - Brooke McEldowney

rjs

No man is exempt from saying silly things; the mischief is to say them deliberately. - Michel de Montaigne

rjs

When everyone is against you, it means that you are absolutely wrong-- or absolutely right. - Albert Guinon

rjs

The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it. - Flannery O'Connor

rjs

When a man is wrapped up in himself, he makes a pretty small package. - John Ruskin

rjs

Paradise is exactly like where you are right now... only much, much better. - Laurie Anderson

rjs

The most dangerous strategy is to jump a chasm in two leaps. - Benjamin Disraeli

rjs

It is better to be quotable than to be honest. - Tom Stoppard

rjs

Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else. - James M. Barrie

rjs

I do not want people to be agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them. - Jane Austen

rjs

All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive, fattening, engaged or married to someone else!

raj

The road to success.... Is always under construction.

raj

To Err is human, to forgive is not a Company policy.

RAJ

In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it.

raj

Someday is not a day of the week...

raj

The cigarette does the smoking you are just the sucker.

raj

It's not the fall that kills you. It's the sudden stop at the end.

raj

If you cannot change your mind, are you sure you have one?

raj

A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.

raj

In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?

raj

I love being a writer... what I can't stand is the paperwork.

raj

It's not hard to meet expenses, they are everywhere....

raj

If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants.

raj

Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking....

RJS

Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.

RAJ

Try & try, if you don't succeed, then CHEAT..Dilbert

RJS

Work is fine if it doesn't take too much of your time....Dilbert

rjs

A friend in need is a pest indeed. Dilbert

I say no to alcohol, it just doesn't listen. Dilbert

RJS

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.. - Groucho Marx

RJS

He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts.. . for support rather than illumination. - Andrew Lang

RJS

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde

RJS

"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson

RJS

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright

RJS

He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.. - Oscar Wilde

Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it. - Moses Hadas

RJS

Take everything you like seriously, except yourselves. - Rudyard Kipling

RJS

It is dangerous for a national candidate to say things that people might remember.

RJS

An ounce of action is worth a ton of theory. - Friedrich Engels

RJS

The depth and the willingness with which we serve is a direct reflection of our gratitude.

RJS

I suppose that I shall have to die beyond my means. - Oscar Wilde

RJS

Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. - Arthur C. Clarke

RJS

Basic research is what I am doing when I don't know what I am doing. - Wernher von Braun

RJS

The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised. - George F. Will

RJS

The only way to make a man trustworthy is to trust him. - Henry Stimson

RJS

England and America are two countries separated by a common language.

Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.

I never vote for anyone; I always vote against. W C Fields

history is nothing more than a tableau of crimes and misfortunes.

RJS

Pessimist: One who, when he has the choice of two evils, chooses both.

RJS

Life is a combination of success and failure — both are needed.

RJS

An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.

RJS

Politeness, n. The most acceptable hypocrisy.

RJS

The graveyards are full of indispensable men.

RJS

The truth is more important than the facts.

RJS

Confidence and enthusiasm are the greatest sales producers...

RJS

Few people can see genius in someone who has offended them.

RJS

All the world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.

RJS

Regular naps prevent old age, especially while driving.

RJS

It is only possible to live happily ever after on a day-to-day basis.

RJS

Faith is a gift from God that is available to anyone who wants it.

RJS

We don't know a millionth of one percent about anything...

RJS

A good composer does not imitate; he steals...

RJS

If I only had a little humility, I'd be perfect...Ted

RJS

Never ask for a lighter rain. Just pray for a better umbrella.

RJS

Sleep for dreams and wake up for aims.

RJS

Dream requires effortless sleep whereas aim requires sleepless effort.

RJS

Every Older person has a younger person wondering what happend....

RJS

Can't repair ur brakes... make your horns louder ...

RJS

You don't die.. if u get scared half to death.. twice !!

RJS

Everyone has photographic memory... some doesn't have film.

RJS

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm...

RJS

He who laugh Lasts... think slowest...

RJS

Fingers of 2 hands are different... but togather.

rjs

Commerce is the great civilizer. We exchange ideas when we exchange fabrics.

RJS

A day without sunshine is like..... night....

RJS