George F. Will

The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised.

H. P. Lovecraft

The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents.

Jimmy Breslin

Rage is the only quality which has kept me, or anybody I have ever studied, writing columns for newspapers.

Fred Allen

What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement?

P. G. Wodehouse

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.

Robert Zend

There are too many people, and too few human beings.

Benjamin Franklin

At the working man's house hunger looks in but dares not enter.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Beware when the great God lets loose a thinker on this planet.

George Carlin

If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say that the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.

William James

The greatest use of life is to spend it for something that will outlast it.

Bernard Bailey

When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it.

Francois de La Rochefoucauld

A true friend is the greatest of all blessings, and that which we take the least care of all to acquire.

Victor Borge

I only know two pieces; one is 'Clair de Lune' and the other one isn't.

Harry S Truman

I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it.

Henry David Thoreau

Some circumstantial evidence is very strong, as when you find a trout in the milk.

Dorothy Nevill

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right place but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

Darrin Weinberg

It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.

Vince Lombardi

If you aren't fired with enthusiasm, you will be fired with enthusiasm.

Robert Bakker

I want to find a voracious, small-minded predator and name it after the IRS.

Segal's Law

A man with a watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure.