Murray Koffler

My formula for success is dress british, look irish, think jewish...

George Bernard Shaw

A perpetual holiday is a good working definition of hell....

Oscar Wilde

Work is the curse of the drinking Classes...

Hunter S. Thompson

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro....

Oscar Wilde

Work is the refuge of those who have nothing better to do..

Pierre Beaumarchais

It is not necessary to understand things in order to argue about them....

Leo Rosten

If you want people to think you're wise, just agree with them.

Jane Caminos

A waist is a terrible thing to mind....

Philip Gibbs

It is better to give than to lend, and it costs about the same..

Richard Feynman

There are 10^11 stars in the galaxy. That used to be a huge number. But it's only a hundred billion. It's less than the national deficit! We used to call them astronomical numbers. Now we should call them economical numbers....

Kin Hubbard.

If you want to get rid of somebody, just tell them something for their own good..

Peter Ustinov

Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.....

Erica Jong

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answers but wish we didn't..

Lily Tomlin

Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?...

Adlai Stevenson

Flattery hurts no one- so long as you don't inhale...

William Gibson

The future is here. It's just not widely distributed yet...

La Rochefoucauld

Gratitude is merely a secret hope of further favours...

Charles M. Schulz

Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love...

Kin Hubbard

Some people pay a compliment as if they expected a receipt...

Malcolm Bradbury

The english are polite by telling lies. The americans are polite by telling the truth..