Kin Hubbard.

If you want to get rid of somebody, just tell them something for their own good..

Peter Ustinov

Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.....

Erica Jong

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answers but wish we didn't..

Lily Tomlin

Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?...

Adlai Stevenson

Flattery hurts no one- so long as you don't inhale...

William Gibson

The future is here. It's just not widely distributed yet...

La Rochefoucauld

Gratitude is merely a secret hope of further favours...

Charles M. Schulz

Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love...

Kin Hubbard

Some people pay a compliment as if they expected a receipt...

Malcolm Bradbury

The english are polite by telling lies. The americans are polite by telling the truth..

Abraham Lincoln

Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves... RJS

Oscar Wilde

Vulgarity is simply the conduct of other people..

When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite... Winston Churchill

rjs

Every man likes the smell of his own farts.. Icelandic proverb.

rjs

More people will get out of ur way if u say i'm about to puke, then if u say 'Excuse Me'..Sally bager

rjs

Etiquette is knowing how to yawn with your mouth closed...Herbert P

rjs

The nice thing about egoists is that they dont talk about other people..Lucy Harper

rjs

To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance..Oscar Wilde

rjs

An egotist is a person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.. Ambrose Bierce

rjs

Some of the greatest love affairs i have known involved one actor, unassisted...Wilson Mizner

rjs