My wife and I thought we were in love but it turned out to be begining... Woody Alen

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A hard man is good to find...Mae West

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I 'm still going on bad dates when by now i should be in a bad marraige...Laura K

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The difference btw man and battery; that battery has +ve side....

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Every man I meet wants to protect me, i cant figure out from what...Mae West

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People should'nt be treated like objects; they are not that valuable...PJORourke

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It is absurd to divide people in gud or bad; they are either charming or tedious.

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There are 3 kind of people; one those who can count, others who cannot..

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I think i m pretty gud judge of people; which is y i hate most of them....

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An undefined problem has an infinite number of solutions...RJS

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Maturity is only a short break in adolescence. - Jules Feiffer

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If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, why don't we all get wasted and have the time of our lives

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Language is the source of misunderstandings. - Antoine de Saint-Exupery

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A coupla months in the laboratory can save a coupla hours in the library. - Westheimer's Discovery

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The best way to compile inaccurate information that no one wants is to make it up. - Scott Adams

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Insensibly one begins to twist facts to suit theories, instead of theories to suit facts.

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An epigram often flashes light into regions where reason shines but dimly. - Edwin P. Whipple

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A widely- read man never quotes accurately, for the rather obvious reason that he has read too widely.

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Misquotation is, in fact, the pride and privilege of the learned.

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Don't worry about people stealing an idea. If it's original, you will have to ram it down their throats. - Howard Aiken

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Television enables you to be entertained in your home by people you wouldn't have in your home.

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If you are not criticized, you may not be doing much.

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Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

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You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

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The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

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If you aren't living on the edge, then you are taking up too much space.

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For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing. - H. L. Mencken

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The average Ph.D. thesis is nothing but a transference of bones from one graveyard to another. - J. Frank Dobie

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I'm just a person trapped inside a woman's body. - Elayne Boosler

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I am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions. - Augusten Burroughs

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Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish. - Albert Einstein

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A husband is like a fire, he goes out when unattended. - Evan Esar

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Love can be sordid only if you work at it. - Brooke McEldowney

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No man is exempt from saying silly things; the mischief is to say them deliberately. - Michel de Montaigne

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When everyone is against you, it means that you are absolutely wrong-- or absolutely right. - Albert Guinon

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The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it. - Flannery O'Connor

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When a man is wrapped up in himself, he makes a pretty small package. - John Ruskin

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Paradise is exactly like where you are right now... only much, much better. - Laurie Anderson

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The most dangerous strategy is to jump a chasm in two leaps. - Benjamin Disraeli

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It is better to be quotable than to be honest. - Tom Stoppard

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Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else. - James M. Barrie

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I do not want people to be agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them. - Jane Austen

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All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive, fattening, engaged or married to someone else!

raj

The road to success.... Is always under construction.

raj

To Err is human, to forgive is not a Company policy.

RAJ

In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it.

raj

Someday is not a day of the week...

raj

The cigarette does the smoking you are just the sucker.

raj

It's not the fall that kills you. It's the sudden stop at the end.

raj

If you cannot change your mind, are you sure you have one?

raj

A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.

raj

In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?

raj

I love being a writer... what I can't stand is the paperwork.

raj

It's not hard to meet expenses, they are everywhere....

raj

If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants.

raj

Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking....

RJS

Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.

RAJ

Try & try, if you don't succeed, then CHEAT..Dilbert

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Work is fine if it doesn't take too much of your time....Dilbert

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A friend in need is a pest indeed. Dilbert

I say no to alcohol, it just doesn't listen. Dilbert

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I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.. - Groucho Marx

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He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts.. . for support rather than illumination. - Andrew Lang

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"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde

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"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson

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"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright

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He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.. - Oscar Wilde

Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it. - Moses Hadas

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Take everything you like seriously, except yourselves. - Rudyard Kipling

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It is dangerous for a national candidate to say things that people might remember.

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An ounce of action is worth a ton of theory. - Friedrich Engels

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The depth and the willingness with which we serve is a direct reflection of our gratitude.

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I suppose that I shall have to die beyond my means. - Oscar Wilde

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Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. - Arthur C. Clarke

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Basic research is what I am doing when I don't know what I am doing. - Wernher von Braun

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The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised. - George F. Will

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The only way to make a man trustworthy is to trust him. - Henry Stimson

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England and America are two countries separated by a common language.

Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.

I never vote for anyone; I always vote against. W C Fields

history is nothing more than a tableau of crimes and misfortunes.

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Pessimist: One who, when he has the choice of two evils, chooses both.

RJS

Life is a combination of success and failure — both are needed.

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An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.

RJS

Politeness, n. The most acceptable hypocrisy.

RJS

The graveyards are full of indispensable men.

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The truth is more important than the facts.

RJS

Confidence and enthusiasm are the greatest sales producers...

RJS

Few people can see genius in someone who has offended them.

RJS

All the world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.

RJS

Regular naps prevent old age, especially while driving.

RJS

It is only possible to live happily ever after on a day-to-day basis.

RJS

Faith is a gift from God that is available to anyone who wants it.

RJS

We don't know a millionth of one percent about anything...

RJS

A good composer does not imitate; he steals...

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If I only had a little humility, I'd be perfect...Ted

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Never ask for a lighter rain. Just pray for a better umbrella.

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Sleep for dreams and wake up for aims.

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Dream requires effortless sleep whereas aim requires sleepless effort.

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Every Older person has a younger person wondering what happend....

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