Any child who is anxious to mow the lawn is too young to do it... Bob Philips

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Toddlers are more likely to eat healthy food if they find it on the floor... Jan B

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You know what i did before i married, anything i wanted to... Henny Youngman

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No matter who you marry, you wake up married to someone else.. Marlon Brando

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Once a woman has given her heart you can never get rid of the rest of her...John V

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When i finally met Mr. Right, i had no idea his first name was 'Always'..Rita Ruder

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If you think women are the weaker sex, try pulling the blankets back to your side...Stuart Turner

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The best way to get husband do anything is to suggest that he is too old to do it... F.Parker

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Womens movement would be more successful, if men were running it...Alan Clark

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The main achievement of the women's movement was the right to go dutch..Gloria Steinem

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The trouble with women is that they never put the toilet seat back up.. Simon Nye

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Marriage is alliance of 2 people, 1 who remembers all date and other 1 who doesnt...Ogden Nash

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Intution is the strange instinct that tells a woman she is right; whether she is or not...Oscar Wilde

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The main purpose of love is to provide a theme for novels....Peir Paul Read

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All the reasons of a man cannot outweigh a single feeling of a woman... Voltaire

If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question...Lily Tomlin

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Women might start a rumour, but not a war.... Marga Gomez

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A man in house is worth 2 in the street... Mae West

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A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain...WCFields

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Love is a temporary insanity curable by marriage...Ambrose Bierce

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If a man speaks in forest with no women around... is he still wrong? Rick Makin

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My wife and I thought we were in love but it turned out to be begining... Woody Alen

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A hard man is good to find...Mae West

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I 'm still going on bad dates when by now i should be in a bad marraige...Laura K

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The difference btw man and battery; that battery has +ve side....

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Every man I meet wants to protect me, i cant figure out from what...Mae West

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People should'nt be treated like objects; they are not that valuable...PJORourke

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It is absurd to divide people in gud or bad; they are either charming or tedious.

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There are 3 kind of people; one those who can count, others who cannot..

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I think i m pretty gud judge of people; which is y i hate most of them....

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An undefined problem has an infinite number of solutions...RJS

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Maturity is only a short break in adolescence. - Jules Feiffer

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If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, why don't we all get wasted and have the time of our lives

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Language is the source of misunderstandings. - Antoine de Saint-Exupery

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A coupla months in the laboratory can save a coupla hours in the library. - Westheimer's Discovery

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The best way to compile inaccurate information that no one wants is to make it up. - Scott Adams

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Insensibly one begins to twist facts to suit theories, instead of theories to suit facts.

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An epigram often flashes light into regions where reason shines but dimly. - Edwin P. Whipple

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A widely- read man never quotes accurately, for the rather obvious reason that he has read too widely.

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Misquotation is, in fact, the pride and privilege of the learned.

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Don't worry about people stealing an idea. If it's original, you will have to ram it down their throats. - Howard Aiken

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Television enables you to be entertained in your home by people you wouldn't have in your home.

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If you are not criticized, you may not be doing much.

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Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

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You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

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The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

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If you aren't living on the edge, then you are taking up too much space.

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For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing. - H. L. Mencken

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The average Ph.D. thesis is nothing but a transference of bones from one graveyard to another. - J. Frank Dobie

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I'm just a person trapped inside a woman's body. - Elayne Boosler

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